How To Build Your Child's Confidence Ready To Return To School

The shiny new shoes, the freshly cut hair, the new school bag – the sense of excitement and anticipation in the air – it’s back to school time.

Whether your child is starting Nursery, or entering High school, they may have butterflies in their tummy (and maybe you have them in yours too!).

Recently I was discussing with a friend how she could help her child feel confident when starting school, rather than fearful. I suggested she encourage her child to be brave and help them understand that even though starting school may feel a bit scary, they shouldn’t be afraid of trying new things. Having the courage to do something new, even when it feels difficult, is a great way to develop confidence. 

I suggested that before the start of term, she ensured that her child had all the necessary school kit and that her child should look through it with her. They could also chat about what her child was looking forward to and why. This would help them feel physically and mentally prepared. Discussing what her child could do if something happened that they were unsure about, and how they could ask for help, would also be useful. Giving her child the opportunity to discuss their feelings, would help reduce their fears around the new situation and allow them to see it with excitement.

Encouraging her child to smile, was another strategy that I recommended. From a physiological point of view, when you smile it sends a message to your brain to say that you are relaxed and happy (even though you might not actually be feeling that way yet). Smiling could therefore help her child feel calmer. Also, a smiley face is more welcoming than a sad or worried face, especially when building new relationships!  People will respond positively to your smile, which will in turn help you feel more confident.

These strategies will help build confidence whenever your child is about to embark on a new experience. Whether it is a part in the school play, visiting a new friends house for tea or being chosen to represent their sports team.

Most importantly, believe in your child. Being their biggest cheerleader and celebrating their accomplishments with them, will help build their confidence. Even if they are not feeling confident themselves, you can ‘hold the space’ for your child and help them see their potential.

One of my favourite quotes by Erin Hanson sums this up beautifully “What if I fall?” “Oh, but my darling what if you fly?”